Dears, it’s been a while. Again.
As frustrating as it can get not sharing as often as I “want to” on the blog, I honor the cycles of pause. I feel like there’s a split in my writing that I’m still reconciling with. Compared to my blog offerings, my journal entries are much more consistent. Perhaps it’s because it’s just me and my thoughts as opposed to feeling like I must craft something for an audience. But anyway, here I am again on the blog. 🙂
I have been entertaining the idea of starting a segment on the blog titled “Journal Entries” for quite some time now. When I write in my journal, I don’t intend to publicly share the entries; they’re raw and vulnerable. My journal entries are what I call Sacred Practices. Some of them feel like conversations with God. They range from experiences and subsequent reflections all the way to poems. The way I sometimes get insights and answers to questions without much thought, as if the pen just does what it wants to do and I flow with it, makes me feel like a Higher Being takes over. I sit often in awe when I finish journaling because sometimes the realizations I get blow my mind. And I want to share some of them with you.
After months of not publishing anything on the blog, I feel like it’s the perfect time to share one of my latest journal entries. I titled this blog “In A Heartbeat”, as that’s the gist of what came up in the journal entry.
While I will give myself permission to share some of my most intimate and vulnerable thoughts on this platform, I am also selective about what I share here. Not all thoughts are to be shared with the world. So, sometimes, I will share parts of an entry. Perhaps only a quote and expand on it. Other times, I may share the whole entry – whatever I feel most comfortable with. I do feel more and more that there is much wisdom in those pages that can be a source of inspiration or information for you, too. Plus, my journal entries feel like an infinite source of content for the blog too. I know some of y’all have been waiting for new posts for some time. So here we go!
I’m gonna share an entire entry I wrote back in November:
22 November 2023, 11:35AM.
Making space… Sometimes it’s difficult to make space to feel and sit with what will come up once you allow yourself to indulge in feeling. I understand why we run; I get why we escape. We seek temporary comfort in what seems to feel like a permanent hell. Turmoils of emotions, one after the other. And even when we think we have come a long way in learning to regulate ourselves, we get hit with the waves of the collective.
Can we fully heal in a permanent hell? Can we fully resolve and stay balanced when so much is out of balance in the world? And if so, how?
The permanence of undesirable states and ways in the world is not as constant as change.
And if you were to take it one heartbeat at a time, feeling present within your heart and less anxious in your mind, you would find ways to stay balanced in spite of so much terror, pain, and misery. Unlocking peace is not something to aspire to in the long term; it is something to live in the present moment – and only in the present moment.
When you dare to face the present moment and all it asks from you – including your tears and fears and concerns, as opposed to running from when you sense discomforts and frustrations, you reduce all the bigness and overwhelmingness of life happening to the heartbeat. Go to the heartbeat. The heartbeat won’t change what is happening, but it will provide you with what the moments of your life ask of you. In a heartbeat.
After sitting with this message, I wondered, how often do we stop to actually feel our heartbeat? How often do we slow down to hear the rhythm of our hearts? I know I don’t often stop to hear my own heartbeat. That has been changing now.
I was re-reading the Power of Now (which I also have a journal entry on that I will probably soon share because I’m quite critical at this point of my life), and Eckhart Tolle noted that our degree of presence influences our quality of life. That was quite insightful and made me think about the quality of my life. There are many ways to get to being present in the now and refocusing our beings to the present moment. My recently recommended “heartbeat method”, that is, slowing down to feel your heartbeat, is one I’m gonna now try out and see how it will help me stay present more often. Eckhart Tolle also suggested focusing on your surroundings, like a plant, and giving it your full attention as a way to be fully present. Maybe those will work for you. There are many ways to regain presence – and that’s a good thing.
Remaining present in moments where our minds can spiral into pessimism as we look at the world going through a huge dark night of the soul may help us stay sane in an insane world and perhaps even come up with solutions within our capacities. The world is heavy at this moment. It’s been heavy for some time now. But I don’t want to give up on it, and I don’t want it to wear me down. So I’ll go to the heartbeat when I feel overwhelmed, and pray that I will do what’s asked of me at the perfect time to contribute to the betterment of it.
With love,
Jun 💙
P.S. From the river to the sea, all of mankind will be free. Including Palestine.
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