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Blog by Juneal Holder

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Tag: Meditation

Posted on September 18, 2019February 17, 2020

Follow the Silence

#NoteToSelf 21. After almost a year since my last Note To Self, here I share with you Note To Self 21. I love Notes To…

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A voice within recently told me, "Get back to happiness."💛✨ . . Beautiful pictures taken by @acyn_♥️
Some not-so-fun facts about me: ◾I can be very hard on myself; you can't imagine how much I've beaten myself up mentally for my lack of motivation, my cluelessness as to what to do next sometimes, for my insecurities, for not being creative enough. For not doing more. For not always keeping it together. ◾I've felt very insecure the past few months; from feeling fat and ugly to unworthy and unaligned. I try to speak life often to myself. It's not always easy. ◾I want to feel loved, cherished and understood by someone. Be held and comforted romantically. But I still haven't met anyone to fulfill those desires and I don't know when I'll meet that person. I'm patient but sometimes I wonder how long it'll take. At times I feel sad and lonely about this uncertainty. ◾Though I have been building muscles and I workout, I tend to overlook all that and focus on the extra weight I've gained (+10kg in a year) and the 26% body fat I have. This has made me even more insecure about myself, my worth and attractiveness. In a world that constantly tries to define for us the parameters of what is "cool", "attractive" and "likeable", it's a skill to learn how to love yourself when you fluctuate outside those normative lines. I've fluctuated outside the lines for most of my life. I've had to learn to love myself time and time again. Every time I thought that it's done, another layer needs to be peeled. Growth is constantly peeling oneself from societal layers and self-imposed expectations to become. Self love to me right now is seeing myself as worthy and beautiful, as deserving and divine, even in the midst of my feelings and despite a world that might not validate me. It is accepting me as I am, being kind to my process - allowing me to become and emerge with compassion and grace. Believing with conviction that happiness is a birthright and that I matter. I am deserving. With this post I pose and smile, still working through many issues and insecurities yet choosing to feel deserving and worthy. Remembering that my beauty is not skin-deep. That I am greatness manifested. And that perfection is bullshit.
If you could only see yourself through the lens of Love, you'd never question your beauty.
SOUL POETRY: UNAPOLOGETICALLY UNCOMPROMISING . Once you meet yourself beyond your looks, settling for what meets the eye is not an option anymore.
✨🖋️From "Energy Alchemy"✨ . "That anger you don’t want to feel? Feel it. That person you don’t want to mourn? Mourn them. That pain that you don’t want to sit with? Allow it. Don’t let it stay inside, don’t toxify yourself with stagnant energy. Don’t keep stuff bottled in, for they will always find a way out. One way or another. And if not now, sometime later. So, exert control by allowing yourself to feel in a healthy, non-damaging, non-toxic way. If you allow yourself to feel, whatever you’re feeling – in the presence of your consciousness – will seize to affect you at a certain point. If you fight it or fail to allow it to be, it will persist until it finds an outlet. . Now, be mindful and know the difference between a fleeting emotion and the entertainment of misery. The moment we forget that we are the one feeling, and not the feeling itself, we will fail to transmute the energy to our desired state. The frequency that we have attached to and identified with becomes our reality then (until we choose we don’t want it anymore)." Read the complete post on the blog! #linkinbio
✨💛 #Mantra and #Affirmation 💛✨ . Someone recently told me that I should believe more in myself after I had told her about all that I desire to do and how I tend to get afraid and paralyzed. I confessed my fear of failure to her and she filled me with words of wisdom. She saw much in me that I tend to get glimpses of, but that at the same time, I'm afraid to realize. I'm really thankful to this lady that told me, "You should believe more in yourself." Hearing those words did something profound to my soul. . Not long after our conversation, a mantra/affirmation came through: I am able and I am capable. I apply this mantra sometimes when I meditate, repeating it internally over and over again, filling myself with the confidence that sometimes I lack. I affirm these words, often, so I can take steps and do stuff even when I'm afraid - remembering that indeed, I am able and I am capable (of……). . So here's this affirmation/mantra for you too. Repeat it often, until you believe more in yourself. Repeat it often, so you can build more confidence in your abilities and capabilities. Repeat it often, to awaken the God in you. . Also, check out my last #JunTalks - I'm sharing some amazing insights worth considering during the process of becoming 😉💛
A friend of mine, Daniel, commended me on "the strength in being able to confidently change" my mind under my last video. My response to Daniel's commentary led me to writing this post (this quote is part of that response, by the way). . "[…] I see it like this: As we evolve, our perspective automatically changes. This is not so fun for our egos, as the ego creates a sense of identity out of our (oftentimes fixed) notions and belief systems. . So here's the discomfort: as we grow, as we evolve, our notions and belief systems also enhance - they also change as we change. Changing how we deal with the world, kind of like changing your identity towards the world - because growth asks this from us - is devastating to the ego who lives on a created structure." Read the complete post on the blog!✨🖋 #LinkInBio
Joy. January 2020.
Growth Game Strong.

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  • All Writings
  • Poetry
  • Notes To Self
  • Book Recommendations
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  • About Me