Lean Into Your Own Expansion

Dears,

A few days ago a message came through during meditation, “Lean into your own expansion”, and I want to share this message with you because it may resonate, too. I love these messages – these Notes from someplace difficult to explain, but filled with wisdom. Even though it is a personal message, I believe that in the personal, we find our similarities. In the personal, we find our humanity.

Let’s discuss the word expansion. A quick Google search will tell you that expansion is the action of becoming larger or more extensive. So putting together the message I received, how do you lean into the action of becoming larger or more extensive? How do you lean into your own expansion?

First, realize that you are expanding. What are some indicators that you are expanding? The old doesn’t fit anymore – you’re too “big” for the ways that you’ve been going about some things. Things that used to work and people that would “fit” neatly into your life out of a sudden don’t seem to align anymore with what you stand for or what you want. Old habits that don’t lead to anything feel futile. Jobs and activities that don’t resonate with you start becoming intolerable. And you want more of what makes you expand.

When you’re expanding, you stop resonating with what you used to. Just like when you’re expanding in size from a size small to a medium, at a certain point you gotta let the small go because it doesn’t fit anymore. Realizing and accepting that you don’t fit in a size small anymore is the first step.

Second, lean into your new awareness that you are indeed changing into something else, something bigger. Now, I find this a bit tricky sometimes. I’ve experienced how my mind likes to cling unto the past and future, but not to what is. What do I mean by this? We are often preoccupied with what has been or what’s to come, but less so where we are right now. As such, a message like “Lean into your own expansion”, may shift the focus into what and who we are becoming, but less so on who we are in this very moment.

As we let go of the old, sometimes we will reminisce on versions of ourselves and our relationships. We may think of friendships and perhaps even lovers whom we know are not serving our growth and wellbeing. Sometimes we feel like going back to old habits and patterns and people. We may even compare how things used to be as opposed to how uncertain they have become due to the changes we have felt compelled to make. This constant back-and-forth between the past and the future will serve as a distraction from the ever-changing present moment. And this is the tricky part because, in those moments, our attention is not on what is, but on what was or what could be.

Leaning into your own expansion doesn’t have anything to do with the past or the future, but with the ever-present moment. It means leaning into who we are right now, with complete awareness that we are evolving. Leaning into your own expansion invites a leaning into your evolution as it happens, aware that it’s happening continuously. It’s not a “going to happen” but more of an “it’s happening right now – lean into it” kind of thing. It means not resisting your highest truth throughout the moments of your day. Life invites us to flow consciously where we are as it leads us to the next place. And it’s up to us to accept this invitation.

More love, less judgment

As I’m leaning into my own expansion, I’m aware that a lot is not clear to me. I’m following a new “set of rules” that I’m making along the way. I’ve been reevaluating my whole value systems, ethics, beliefs, you name it over the past years. I’ve been deconstructing a lot of my old identity. I’ve felt lost, confused, and without a grip throughout this journey. There were moments of stability as well, like journeys within the journey that gave me prolonged moments of direction, such as the years I spent in university. Or the jobs that I knew I wasn’t leaving for the time being. And this is nice, having a sense of grip but there are moments where there is no grip. Where everything is an enigma. Where it feels like you’re starting over but in reality, you’re simply shifting frequencies. I’m again at the crosspoint in transition to an unknown destination, and my God is telling me to lean into my own expansion.

With a mind that constructs its whole reality on attachments, a sense of security, and stability, leaning into this change that I can’t necessarily cling to because it is by nature unknown is not always easy. I’m aware that I’m dealing with years of conditioning that I’m reevaluating and deconstructing. It is therefore imperative that I give myself more love and less judgment while leaning in. I understand that resistance is part of the mind’s work. So I give myself grace in the moments I find myself “wearing” those old favorite habits that don’t serve me anymore or doing things that I know don’t fully resonate anymore with me. I don’t shame myself because there is no room for shame in the House of God.

And to anchor myself, I continually reaffirm to myself that all things are working for my good. I trust, as scary as it may feel sometimes. But I trust.

“Lean into your own expansion”. This was the invitation for me. And I accept it.

Dears, thank you so much for your time. I hope that this post serves as an inspiration for you as well to lean into your own expansion. As noted, it’s a continuous process that only requires our active awareness. An awareness of what is, both on the inside and outside.

With love,
Jun