At the end of the first month of this new decade, I wish you an AH-MAH-ZING decade! Above all, it is my wish for you to allow yourself to grow into your most wonderful version. Here’s my first blog post for this decade; I’m excited to share these thoughts with you. Without further ado, let’s dig in!
You know, I’ve been thinking quite a lot about changes the past period. And changed perspectives. Actually, during this month, I’ve changed perspectives – among other things – within a matter of minutes. As an example, I published a video in the first week of the month titled “I AM THAT BITCH” just to remove it after two weeks because I couldn’t relate to it anymore. Because I changed how I view the word “bitch”. Then I went on creating another video, explaining why I’m not thát bitch or any bitch for that matter. Check it out here. A friend of mine, Daniel, commended me on “the strength in being able to confidently change” my mind under that post. My response to Daniel’s commentary led me to writing this post.
Change is an EXTENSIVE topic that I can talk and write about for hours! It’s beautiful. It’s painful. It’s confusing. It’s amazing. With this post, however, I want to focus more on the changes that come with growth. This was part of my response to Daniel’s comment:
I see it like this: As we evolve, our perspective automatically changes. This is not so fun for our egos, as the ego creates a sense of identity out of our (oftentimes fixed) notions and belief systems.
So here’s the discomfort: as we grow, as we evolve, our notions and belief systems also enhance; they also change as we change. Changing how we deal with the world – kind of like changing your identity towards the world – because growth asks this from us, is devastating to the ego who lives on a created structure.
Creating internal conflict between who you are becoming and who you’re letting go of, change is discomfort for the created self. Why? Because it comes with embarrassment, uncomfortability and a destructive nature. A destruction of how we go about ourselves and consequently the world. And the ego hates it. If it were up to the ego, it sticks to its own ways comfortably. Makes sense, right?
How to deal with changes then? I say lean in.
I’m learning to lean into the awareness that change is constant, and that the expansion of my understanding will inevitably make me uncomfortable. I’m leaning into the awareness that what might work for me now might not work tomorrow, and how I view certain things at this moment might change at any moment. This is growth in process. And I allow it. I lean in. This, to me, is also part of being courageous: allowing growth to be without much resistance.
The thing is, dears, everything is temporary. I bet you’ve read or heard this before. Exactly because everything is temporary, how we deal with everything is important. Here’s where the Note to Self “Detach Thyself” comes in handy for me, reminding me to seize to attach as much as I can. It reminds me to not attach my identity to belief systems that might change, opinions that I might outgrow, or ways of doing things that might not serve me in the future. It reminds me to live completely yet detached. To love fully, and purely, and still aware that nothing is permanent; everything is changing at all times.
I’ve found my peace with mistakes and learning that I do outgrow certain notions… It’s natural to grow actually. What’s not natural is to stick to old ways – but many of us choose this because it’s more comfortable to be static and feel safe than to acknowledge the impermanence of things and thus be vulnerable to change.
As for me, I allow my natural growth, my evolution, to shape my actions to be in accordance with who I wish to become, as I enjoy who I currently am. But one thing I won’t do, though, is sticking to who I think I am, thinking that I’m good as I am. This arrogance will inevitable hinder my process of becoming my next version. Would you let your phone or laptop skip an important update because you like its current OS? 😉
On a final note, be kind to yourself. When you know better, you do better. At least it is my hope that you do. And it’s human to make mistakes. It’s a choice to learn from our mistakes. Allow your ego to be embarrassed by your ignorance from time to time. In doing so, you will get wiser.
These are my thoughts on change for now (as I mentioned earlier I can go on and on on this topic). Let’s keep in touch, dears!
PS: here’s an affirmation I made a few months ago that really helps me whenever I sense an inner resistance to growth (and the changes growth brings with it):