#NoteToSelf 2.
I remember when I awakened in 2015 and in 2016, I was excited, happy and very curious about EVERYTHING… I would find ways of learning and expressing. I remember starting off with my blog with the first post writing about my intentions; my first intention was to use my knowledge, both academical, and spiritual knowledge, to help and inspire others. Many things happened in between November 2015 and now. One of those things was fear of judgment and shame. I became super self-conscious.
I wanted to enjoy both the mundane and the invisible, but to find a middle ground was difficult. Some part of me judged the mundane, but I knew that that part judging and telling me the “do’s” and “don’ts” was not my spiritual side. I was battling with myself… All those voices in my head. Until I let it all go. I let go of the idea of who I was. I let go of all the labels because I am none of them. I accepted that I have been going through many changes in a very short period of time… Changes that were necessary for me to let go of who I thought I was. And I made amends with all that I was judging, especially me.
Time has shown me that I really don’t need to create an image to impress anyone. Did I really think of myself as less-than-worthy to be appreciated and loved for simply who I am?
I don’t need to feel ashamed of being who I am, because I’m ever changing. I’m ever growing. Being unapologetically ME, whatever form that may have at a certain point in time is liberating. It feels good liberating myself from my own beliefs and thoughts. From my own “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts”. It feels good letting go of what I thought I was because I am what I am, and that is all that I am. No need for approval, no need for acceptance, no need to fit in. Those who are meant to will catch my vibe.